Well, leave it to the gang at M.I.T. to come up with musician/instrument jokes, of all things. And not just a handful—there are scores of them. A few selections:
What’s the difference between an onion and a banjo?
No one cries when you chop up a banjo.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist’s head is so much bigger.
How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin.
Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune that his section actually noticed?
If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a 20-story building, which one lands first?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How do you define a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn’t.
What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What’s the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.