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Murphy was an optimist

Here are some laws that seem to govern everything that could possibly go wrong in life:


  • Any technical problem can be solved if you have enough time and money. Corollary: You never have enough time or money.


  • When you ask your husband to pick up five items at the grocery store, and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget at least two of the first five.


  • Most pay raises are just large enough to raise your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.


  • Food that starts out hard will soften when it gets stale. Food that starts out soft will harden when it gets stale.


  • The candy bar you bought to eat on the way home from the store is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.


  • When you work late, no one will notice. When you leave work five minutes early, you will always meet your boss in the elevator.


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